95. Worship in lockdown

April 2021

Recently a friend told me that she had been to receive Communion for first time for some months as her church was now open for worship: she was delighted to have been able to do so, as others are, as lockdown is beginning to be eased. Unlike my friend I haven’t been to worship in a church for a long time, worship there doesn’t currently feed my soul & it often leaves me feeling irritated & depressed. So its better for me to absent myself and look elsewhere. But rather than being a problem its become a gift, a challenge to think outside the box, and in a number of ways.  It’s encouraged me to develop my own daily prayer pattern at home.

It’s encouraged me to recognise holy spaces outside religious buildings and beyond, and to spend time there.  For me that means, amongst other places, my shed, a quiet space by a nearby river, and a local woodland.  If I was in town it would certainly include an art gallery and perhaps a bookshop, when they were open.

It’s sharpened my awareness of the Quakers insight into Communion, namely that its to be found in all sharing of food and drink, wherever and with whoever;  so every meal is potentially Eucharistic.

Lacking the fellowship that’s an important aspect of church attendance, I’ve been encouraged to find it elsewhere. For me that’s been in telephone and live video conversations. Indeed, I’ve had more spiritual conversations in the past year that way then I would have had in many years of church membership.

It’s also widened my understanding of the communion of saints.  The wonderful American poet Mary Oliver led a very solitary childhood but she used to say that she never lacked friends because she was always reading books. She wrote:

“ I never met any of my friends, of course, in a usual way – they were strangers, & lived only in their writings. But if they were only shadow-companions, still they were constant, & powerful, & amazing. That is, they said amazing things, and for me it changed the world.” 

I have lots of friends in that way, poets, writers, composers, painters and sculptors included,  as well as family and friends, who have nourished me over the years & continue to do so. Some are still alive but most are dead, and for me they are all part of the communion of saints.  They form a loving, supportive and nourishing web of which I too am a part.  I never feel that I lack fellowship and certainly not when I pray.  

So, while this has not been true for many others, the closure of the churches and the lack of public worship have been a great gift for me, and I give thanks for it.  It’s widened my vision.

The church scored a massive own goal, in my view, in not allowing people who watch or attend streamed services, to administer Communion to themselves at home, rather insisting that they limit themselves to watching only the clergy leading the worship do so .  I can understand the reasoning behind this, but the consequence is that Communion is effectively restricted to clergy & their families, & that can’t be right.

The reasoning I suspect is rather like that that opposed the translating of the Bible into English many centuries ago.  What might people start to think and believe if they can read the Bible for themselves?  What might happen if we allow ordinary men and women to celebrate communion with whoever, in their homes?  They won’t do it properly and who might receive it?  That would be the argument, but in reality, of course, it’s more about the church holding onto power instead of empowering others.

So my communion has consisted of meals shared with my wife & occasionally others, in the presence of the communion of saints………. until last December that is. Another friend, for whom lockdown had eventually become a source of spiritual depth, like me couldn’t bear the thought of going to his local church over Christmas. “I’ve even been wondering about celebrating HC on my own at home” he told me.  “Hmm….” I replied “why don’t we do it together, online?”

So from Christmas day through to every Sunday since, that’s what we’ve done,  We’ve had a short conversation midweek to plan it, and have then met at the same time every Sunday morning using WhatsApp and our computers. The pattern varies a bit but has been much the same each week, interspersed with periods of silence. We each bring a piece if bread or biscuit, and a small glass of something, for the communion itself.

            We catchup with each other.

            Silence and an opening prayer

            We read and reflect together on the chosen Bible passage

            We look at and reflect together on some visual images of the passage

            We read and reflect on an appropriate poem

            We share a time of prayer

            One of us says a simple Eucharistic prayer

            We receive communion from our own hands

            We listen to a piece of music

            We say the Lords Prayer

            We bless each other.

Its been wonderful, rich, deep and often profoundly moving. We both look forward to it each week.   Will we continue like this? I don’t know? What will happen now public worship is beginning to be possible again?  I don’t know that either.  Where will it lead? I certainly don’t know that. Clearly it has its limitations, not least it’s exclusivity. But I trust that the Holy Spirit has led us into worshipping together in this way and not just for our own benefit but to discover something that can be shared with others. I’m trusting that the way forward will come clear.  To paraphrase Gamaliel ‘If its not of God it will wither, if its is of God we wont be able to stop it.” For me, Communion will never be the same again. 

2 responses to “95. Worship in lockdown”

  1. youthman5c0d7abc58 Avatar
    youthman5c0d7abc58

    I was in London for my sons hospital appointment, I decided to attend mine (and his) first prayers and communion. At a COE Cathedral at lunchtime. I would like to say it was a completely uplifting experience, but I came away unsettled. It was very robotic, felt very much like they were going through the motions.

    The biggest issue for me was the liturgy. It was very penitent and atonement heavy, with a lot of empathsis on personal sin etc. The prayers grated a little, as the first on the list was the Bishop then the King, before it got to the the homeless etc later on. I’m not saying anyone doesn’t deserve prayers but the hierarchy in the order was jarring.

    I found the whole process of prayers and communion after very isoteric, a bit like an in club, as a first time attender it was quite impenetrable, the call and response, standing at certain times etc How its assumed everyone knows whats going on.I suppose also that being unbaptised we may have officially not been allowed to take communion.

    They certainly didn’t say everyone was welcome to take communion.I’ve made a big effort to teach myself about the church and its services, but even so a lot of it is so complicated and in honesty dry and old fashioned that I really think the COE is going to struggle to get new people to come through the doors and stay. It almost seems designed to put newcomers off.

    I had to do a lot of explaining to my son after about how different churches do things differently and this being a big London cathedral clearly came from the traditional conservative side. But really a big Cathedral should be as welcoming and accessible as possible, as it seems to me its more likely to get casual but interested visitors. I felt the need to try and explain to him afterwards so he knew that I felt uncomfortable, and why. Which dampened the experience.

    The two Gospel readings were good, I was pleased to have taken some of the bread for the first time, and I’m trying to concentrate on the most important bits of the service but it wasn’t quite the experience I’d wanted.

    Johnny

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    1. Dear Johnny,

      Thank you for your comment. I’m sorry that I’ve even slow to respond but I’ve been away.

      A couple of thoughts:
      [1] Coming away unsettled is not necessarily a bad thing, it can help you to name what is important to you, and might lead you to revise your ideas about something. What is it that you are looking for in an act of worship in a church?

      [2] In many church communion services you’l be entering a ritual two thousand years old, so it’s bound to feel strange.
      It’s like going to any established activity as a newcomer: shopping centre, football match, theatre, art gallery, music concert. You’re entering a different world. That is part of the point of it.

      [3] My advice would be to try and simply float on the worship. Try not to respond to it with your head but with your soul. Just sit there and soak yourself in it, let it carry you. Be aware that you are in a building thats been used in this way for probably hundreds of years, let the stones, the atmosphere speak to you.

      [4] I share your reaction to an emphasis on personal sin, Jesus didnt go on about sin, but about God’s loving acceptance, which of course is what we all need to hear & experience.

      [5] You found the Gospel readings good, and you came away pleased to have taken the bread. So in two ways you were nourished & fed by being there.

      [6] Be willing to try visiting other churches, which will be different from the cathedral in London, where the assumption may well have been that some of those attending actually welcome the anonymity of the worship.

      I hope that’s helpful?
      Henry

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